10 Things Every Plant Parent Knows all too Well

Being a plant-loving freak used to be something we associated with old people. You know the type – folks who spend every day in their gardens, people who wax poetic about their orchids and the proper pH their soil needs, people who can’t wait to tell you about the new plant they got. Somehow, in my 20s, I am now one of these people. Here I have all the things every plant parent knows. I expect other plant moms can relate to most or ALL of these 10 things we get from plants. If you are new to plant parenting or already obsessed with house plants, this blog is for you.

Plant Moms can Relate

I don’t know if it’s spending so much time at home or what, but somehow we’ve all become those people.

Plant people. How did this happen?

Now, we spend every Sunday morning carrying our green babies to the tub so they can all get a shower. I am sure plant moms can relate to this! We obsessively move our plants around, making sure they’re getting the right amount of sunlight to grow big and strong. Our fingernails are brown from all the dirt caked underneath, and we’re not even concerned – we cut manicures from the budget long ago to free up funds for our plant collection.

Are you Obsessed with Plants, Too?

Neither big homes nor small apartments hold you back from creating your living indoor oasis. With enough light and creativity, you can still cram your studio full of photosynthesizing babies, creating fresh air and great vibes. It’s perfect for our generation, most of whom can’t afford to have a big living space.

All the Things Every Plant Parent Knows

I really wonder if our newfound fascination with plant children has to do with our low interest in having real children. Plenty of millenials are pushing back against having children at this age – or at all. That hole we have inside of us that yearns to care for a living thing is filled with blooming flowers, the discovery of a new leaf, and the way our Pothos trails along our curtain rods.

If that’s the case, I’m not even mad about it. Caring for plants allows us to nurture and grow something, see the results of our labor, without the screaming or the smelly diapers. Whether or not they’re cuter? That’s a personal preference.

If you can see through your home jungle, read on to for a bunch of #JustPlantParentThings you’ll totally understand.

Nice to meet you, I am obsessed with house plants, too!

You Love to Stay Home

When your home is a lush greenhouse with a propagation station by each window, the pressure to get out practically disappears. And who can blame you? Your apartment is probably way nicer than the streets outside, and smells better than a dingy bar on a Friday night. Ummm, I expect the other plant moms can relate…AM I RIGHT?

You don’t need to go out and exercise to get fresh air in your lungs – your plant babies are creating a steady stream of fresh air for your lungs to feast on. And with all the hard work they’ve been doing photosynthesizing and converting your carbon dioxide into oxygen, it would be rude to just turn it down.

Plus, any time away from your babies is less time you have to make sure each one has been perfectly misted, to daintily wipe down every leaf, and to get knuckle deep in their pots (for a moisture check, of course. Nothing crazy). You make sure you keep your plants alive when you go away!

Your Social Media is all Plants

Naturally, you’re posting your favorite babies on your Insta feed all the time. But when you graduate to being a real plant freak, it goes way beyond that. You start following other plant parents on Instagram, so you can see their babies flourish. Soon, even your Discover page is as green as your apartment. Those algorithms work a little too hard sometimes.

If you are looking for captions for house plant photos, I got you!

And your Pinterest? Forget about it. Not only do you have multiple boards dedicated to just plants – styling, care, placement, and inspo for what to get next – but your whole feed is just greenery waiting to be discovered.

Let’s face it – there’s always a perfect new plant you’ve never seen before. Let’s add it to the wish list! Plant moms can relate to plant FOMO.

An Open Surface? Nope, that’s a Plant Shelf

A normal person into normal decor sees an open shelf or an empty windowsill as an opportunity. What a great place for some books! It’s the perfect spot for that little tchotchke you got on your last vacation!

Plant parents have that same instinct – if they still have any open spaces, that is. Because most of us have not only filled every space with plants, but also turned things that shouldn’t be planters into pots for our babies.

But if we do have any space left, it’s still an opportunity. It’s just an opportunity – and great excuse – to go to the greenhouse and get that one variegated rubber plant we’ve had our eye on for a few weeks. Who needs decorative objects when you can squeeze another green baby in there?

You won’t find a dining table in your house. Well, you might. But you won’t be able to see the top of it. It’s covered in plants feasting on the air and nutrients. Dining at the table is highly over rated when you are completely obsessed with house plants.

You have a Highly-Vetted Plant Babysitter

You don’t want to leave your babies often, but when you do, you won’t let just anyone watch them. You’ve made the mistake before of letting whoever’s free come over and watch your plants. And that was a lesson you learned the hard way – in the form of sacrifice. RIP to your polka dot plant.

Only one or two select people make the cut to plant sit, and that’s only because they’re just as plant crazy as you are. Honestly, it’s impressive that they even have the time to come over and take care of yours. Asking for a friend….do you know a house sitter that is obsessed with house plants?

Friends and Coworkers Come to you for Sage Plant Advice

Not specifically about their sage plants. They come to you for advice about all their plants. What to do if this leaf looks a little crispy? Why is there a mushroom growing in the soil? How often should they be repotting?

The questions never stop coming, but luckily, you’ve got the answers to all of them. You’ve been preparing for these moments for years. You’ve got tons of practice. One of the things every plant parent knows is how to share the love for all things plants!

You might even find Carol at your desk when you arrive in the morning, asking you about the plant in the corner. Of course, you assure her that you’ve been secretly caring for it for months. You just can’t stay away.

You’re Always Broke – Except When it Comes to Plants

Vacation ain’t gonna happen this year, and when your friends ask you for that wine weekend, you’ll have to regretfully decline. Plus, your car has been making a weird noise for months.

It’s too bad there’s no money in the budget for any of those things. They sound awfully nice.

But somehow, you always have a little extra cash when you find yourself at the greenhouse buying houseplants. That monstera is calling your name! And your aloe is in desperate need of a cute new pot.

Speaking of Budgets…Plants are Built in There

That’s not to say you’re not also spending your grocery money, your electric bill, and your rent money on plants.  It just means you also built in a space in your budget for more plants. Addiction is rough, eh?

Too Many Planters and Pots? No Such Thing

Your plants are like your babies, and they need to be just as stylin’ as you are. Each season, when you refresh your wardrobe, it’s only fair that your plants get a festive pot as well. It’s a great excuse when you catch yourself at checkout with fifteen pastel pots right before Easter.

And when your bank account really hits empty, that won’t slow you down. Just open the plant closet (who needs linens), choose from one of the many pots in there, and settle in for a good DIY project. A little paint and hot glue decor can go a seriously long way.

Falling in Love with a Plant

Every crazy plant parent knows the weird emotional attachment you get to your plants. But how could you not? Each day you care for them. You watch them grow new leaves. You’ll take care of the spider mites when they get a little infection. You raise them from a small sprout to a small tree.

Talking to your plants isn’t out of the question, either. Complimenting them on their progress, reading them the highlights of your latest book, telling them about your day. When they get sick, you say prayers over them as you tend to their needs.

Your Friends Don’t Speak the Same Language as You

You often find yourself going on about how your adiantum over your mimosa at brunch. Plus, you know what sounds just like mimosa? Monstera deliciosa.

Every time you and your BFF are out running some errands, you’re begging to stop by Lowe’s just to see if they have an Echeveria elegans. You’re not going to buy it, you just want to see if any leaves have fallen that you can snip up and propagate. I is a clear sign that you are obsessed with house plants.

“Propa-who?” she says.

Well, there you have it….all ten things we get from plants. I expect other plant moms can relate to most or ALL of these things. If you are new to plant parenting or already obsessed with house plants, this blog is for you.

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